Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is Oprah even human
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
