it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
