David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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