i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
