I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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