wakey wakey hands off snakey
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
