Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
