the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
