never play flip cup with pint glasses
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
