Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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