i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
