You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
