she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
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I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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