if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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