if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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