just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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