Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
