the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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