Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
