come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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