Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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