You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
where am i from again
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
