Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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