Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
