Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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