Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
