3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
