Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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