True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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