I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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