you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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