White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
