would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
