My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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