my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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