well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
