thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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