I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
