i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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