ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
