WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
