Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
