oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize