Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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