please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
