my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
