So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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