I look better un-naked...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
