life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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