i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
