I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Randomize
