I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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