so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
