hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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