I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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