He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
