I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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