Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize