I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
