im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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