sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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