i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
