Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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